My Wife Wants a Divorce, But I Don't

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I would definitely encourage she go to counseling. Even a simple conversation she could take way outta context leaving me scratching my head, how did that happen? Gottman reports that most are about seeking friendship, support, understanding, and validation.

The holiday season is prime time for cheating, and the new year is when many couples consider divorcing and starting over. I questioned her as to why he comes to our house in my absence. You can make your wife fall with you, all over again.

Assume Love: Why Your Wife Wants to Leave You

I've been married for 10 years and with my wife for 14 years total. I find myself increasingly unhappy with my marriage. So much so that I told her last Mon we should take a break. Things have been rough for a long time. With me loosing my job and not finding work,us fighting to keep our home, us just fighting about everything, us not talking anymore,no sex for almost 2 years, and a load of other issues. I'm wondering if I should fish or cut bait. I care about her but not the way I use to. When I told her we should take this break, she moved out and then called me 2 days later to tell me she's never coming back to this house, for financial reasonsI don't care about the reasons, I don't know if I want her back at all. I don't really miss her and in fact I like my new found freedom. All that I can do is mull this over until I decide what to do. So I thought I'd ask the masses for some free advise. An uncontested divorce is much cheaper than ones where the couple is fighting over everything. If you both want out, that's a point to consider. The fact that you don't miss her, and feel relieved with your new found freedom says everything you need to know about going back in to the relationship. Your concern is for your family members and collateral damage, not her. Kids come and we change, Jobs get better or worse and we change. Kids leave home and we change. Leave, stay change happens you have the ability to choose the amount of change you desire. Choose but there is something to be said for someone who has gone through all the same slow changes that you have. BkTom wrote: if she is holding you back in any way and its clear that she is, leave. If you don't have any children, this should be quite an easy process. It isn't all that expensive if you can settle the assets amicably and hire a paralegal to get you through the process. Because you signed the marriage license. I really don't agree with leading a life that way. You do need to ask yourself, however, where you see yourself years from now. Be careful, your situation could eventually lead you to an affair, even if it is unintentional, which then you will not be free to have that relationship that brings you happiness because you'll still be married. Is that something you would want to have to deal with then. Well because this is an old thread now, he most likely made his decision. But I also don't believe staying in an unhappy marriage especially if you have tried everything to make it better or its abusive. There is lot of strain on a marriage when you get your self in financial difficulties as in being in a lot of debt and loss of employment. But if you cant both sit down and try to find some solutions you will end up fighting and arguing and having children makes it worse so for that man they are lucky there are no children. It seems your problem is financial don't rush for a divorce you have been together wife says she is not happy a long time 10 years is not a simple time. If you love her and she does too stay together and the cloud will move eventually. Try to create your job if there is no jobs, be creative there should be a way, do something new learn a new skill. After you fix your financial situation try to excite her in a more exciting and fulfilling life but don't get into debt avoid debt at all costs, just be creative in making her happy and everything will work out, bro if she was good for you all this time you have to know that she might be only upset and things could be fixed. What if you don't love your spouse anymore though. All of this is in an ideal world, but love sometimes isn't as ideal what's drawn out in black and white. Fall in love in your early 20's 2. Have a few kids, buy a house with a white picket fence 4. Celebrate your 10 year anniversary 5. Work on issues, find the spark again, try new things 7. Grow old and live happily ever after No, there are too many shades of gray in marriages and remember, there are two people involved. People grow, people change, people want different things when they reach their 40's than they did when they were in their 20's. Life happens, people fall in love with other people, people walk away and get divorced. I'm dating a man who is getting divorced as we speak after years of trying to fix the marriage and make her happy and no results of change. Should he have expected her to change. Not really, but should he have stayed any longer. Love is blind, I totally disagree with your thoughts of marriage. In todays society people think that divorce is ok, because so many do it. The truth is divorce is a sin. Google divorce is a sin and read the top link that pops up. Wedding vows are a commitment for life, not just until an argument happens or the other becomes ill or whatever life throws at us. You make a promise to love honor and cherish, until death do you part, for better or worse. You take that oath before god and the witnesses at your wedding. These days with the way people just blow off their vows like they meant nothing, a marriage license might as well be treated like a drivers license. Every two years you can choose to renew or say the hell with it I am not happy. As anther poster said in a different thread,anything when it comes to marriage is worth fighting for and it takes work,but it is worth it in the end,as you have fulfilled your promise to your spouse. Hi Jim, I totally disagree with your thoughts of marriage. It's okay, we can agree to disagree Google divorce is a sin and read the top link that pops up. Other sins include: Living together before married, pregnancy before marriage, drinking underage, cheating, alcoholism. If one cheats or beats his wife under the influence, that is sinning. Do you believe one should put up with these sins. Wedding vows are said as part of a marriage ceremony and nothing is set in stone for life. If it is in the best interest of the couple, God will grant divorce because it's what's best for them. If it isn't, God will keep them together. I'm not very religious, but since you are, isn't God the one guiding the couple to divorce, just the same as he did when he guided them to the marriage. Things happen through God's will, right. Isn't this what religious people believe. At the time people state these vows and make these promises, they don't intend on their spouse becoming a wife beating alcoholic cheater either, so are you saying that because they made a promise and signed their name on a marriage license, they would have to put up with this kind of for better or worse. These days with the way people just blow off their vows like they meant nothing, a marriage license might as well be treated like a drivers license. People that get married in their early 20's might have a different mindset and want different things out of life when they reach their early 40's. This is the age where people start seeking higher spirituality and sometimes find that the one they married just isn't who they want to spend the remainder of their life with. Isn't it more of a sin wife says she is not happy stay with the person, lying about what they want and not being true, possibly cheating through their 40's, or is it not. It's better to divorce and be honest about who you are. In the end, however, it might not be worth it. One has to weigh out these options while considering divorce. One will never know if they don't follow their desired path in life. Where was your god when I was rubbing her back as she wife says she is not happy up for the 100th time because she is a lousy drunk. Your god is a lie and I am tired of feeling like a bad guy because I am dying of loneliness. First thing go back to school get an education because you will need one to get a good job. Second thing start working out and quit all bad habits. You will look and feel better. My first wife cheated on me and now 30 years later accuses me of have cheated on her and I never did. She died of cancer and I stood by her till the day she died. She apologized to me on her death bed. My third wife now is the worst of the bunch. She lost a lot of money on a romance scam and I stood by her and now is on chat rooms talking to all these men. I have always worked hard bought a house for all three and never cheated. I work out and keep myself in great shape and have always told all my wives they were beautiful and bought them nice gifts and flowers. My return is controlling bitching and cheating. Women today just are not worth it. I have a hot muscle car and a loving Jack Russell. This is usually enough time for both of you to get some clarity on your relationship. Frankly speaking, the problem is not with a wife but a man. I don't understand why all commenters assume the wife is a monster. I see her more like a victim actually. He is jobless and literally a depressed underdog who cannot cope with himself. I know these sort of people, who are very difficult to help because they are simply giving up on everything. All they want is to crawl in their shell and have people to leave them alone. They isolate themselves from close people, run away from problems. And later come and blame their parents wives husbands kids etc for them being unhappy. I would recommend a man to look at his problem from inside. And it looks like he has many issues and they are not wife's related. He should man up and get a job to start with. Most of the people suggested a divorce. This advice is the same as in a case with the broken finger when you all are advising him to cut off his arm so the problem with the finger is gone. People grow up and learn to deal with problems like adults. My wife had an affair and she told me she does not love me anymore. We never really love each other from the beginning I was running away from my horrible family and she wanted out of her parents house so we rush into things I ask her to marry like after four months and we did not know each other well she told me also we never love each other it was a mistake If you really search yourselves you sir were probably unhappy before marrying her. If you married her to find happiness well there's another problem. Whatever you wife says she is not happy have been lacking and thought you would find in wife says she is not happy has caught up to you and now you're really frustrated with the whole ordeal. You mentioned loss of job but didn't mention your level of education. In my opinion, during this break, seek a higher level of education, self-improvement, which may open opportunities for you. Maybe she needs to the same for herself.

So I thought I'd ask the masses for some free advise. I want my wife to move back I cant see my life with out her. She's Looking Hotter Lately She's sending the message that she's a sexual being, because she thinks you're missing it, says Haltzman. We've been together for almost 6 years, been married for 2. Now 3 years later it was the best decision of my life. Your wife has screwed up big time. You feel as though you're doing everything in your power to afford her a satisfying, comfortable life. I don't know how to handle her wish to have dated other men before being with me.